had a realli nice time meeting up wif my kambing2 NY haha gerekz....we talked and took funny and candid pics..and of coz tunjuk me and hakim nye chi drama hahaha. so the topics we talked abt ranged from the very 1st impressions of each other to marriage to 'what we gonna do when we graduate' and relationships (all of us were attached :p)

and of coz dey were all interested about me and her...to be fair, i suppose things are not so rozy la. i take full responsibility of that. lets not go into it :p maybe sumthin worth sharing is that by having a constant in ur life, you may tend to neglect or push him/her to one side in the pursuit of new experiences and opportunities in uni life. u tend to take him/her for granted and thinking she's willing to step aside while you do what u want...

one more worth sharing...its undeniable that even if ure in a relationship that u tend to get attracted to others of the opposite sex. i read from somewhere that affairs / crushes happen because u tend to look for the 10% missing in ur partner and u find it in someone else and u ignore the 90% of what you have loved about him/her. no one's perfect....its the beauty that u accept her imperfections and love her the way she really is =)

ok dis is my third installation today hahaha... cant help if coz was talkin 2 nurul on the way home tadi (again hehehe ala kate khatib clan per....) anway, dunno why suddenly talked about her module last sem 'Singapore Society' and she mentioned that there is this policy of Graduate Mothers scheme. basically, the core purpose is to ensure graduate moms have 2 or more babies, while others to have 2 or less. correct me if im wrong nurul :p anyway, the basic principle underlying this policy is to have a lineage of smart babies - a biological concept where genes of smart parents are passed down to their offspring.

'cik, tompang cuci tangan'
The makcik looked at me and said, 'ni melayu ke cine?'
I juz washed my hands at the hose she lent me and said 'dua dua pon bole, cik'
Sometimes, i feel that these is a preoccupation with race and wad constitutes difference would invite inquisition and apprehensiveness. well i hav no qualms whatsoever coz i accept the way i am and i noe that i am who i am, not what i am. =)

this comes to the topic of race coz the majority of things revolve around the notion of class-bias and race-bias. I know that i have been critical of malay organizations in my previous postings hehe but i suppose there is a need to review wad i have said in relation to what i have learnt. A topic of interest has always been on the role of Mendaki. On hearsay, many have criticized Mendaki's way of fund/help distribution because of the Malay-Muslim component. When students approach Mendaki for loans, they go through means testing and one of the criteria is to be Malay. This results in a respectable number who are turned down because they are of Javanese, Boyanese or Arab descent. What makes it worse is that when students excel, even Arabs or Javanese students miraculously become Malays and are given recognition by Mendaki through its annual awards. So the question of why Mendaki actually discriminate the Malay-Muslim community when distributing funds, but overrides race/ethnicity in recognition of success/excellence.

This debatable issue is on the onus of the discerning individual. No doubt i have been critical of such loopholes in the Malay organization, but i have learnt to appreciate or try to understand their actions. Mendaki a body representing the minority of the country has the task of upholding values and enhancing or advertising the successes of her representation. Singapore functions as a meritocratic apparatus and values entrepreneurial spirit and educational excellence. Because the Chinese have been the dominant race both politically and economically, the Malays have to rise up to the occasion to exert their influence and mellow down 'racialization'. One way to do this is to project the increasing successes of Malay-muslim indviduals in education. By celebrating excellence, it sends a signal to others that Malays are catching up , not take Malays for granted and also to contest the condescending labels imposed on the Malay community. It goes to show that there is a choice to break away from the self-fulfilling prophecy that accompanies labels 'Malays are lazy, poor etc'

So in fact, yes i agree that Mendaki needs to review its priorities on whether to help lower-income individuals but at the same time, appreciate the stance that Mendaki has to take to contest and overcome race-biasness in the Singapore context through the celebration of successful Malay individuals.

ahaha today muz be my lucky day =p had two long talks with two bootiful gals hehehe my gd frens kamie ngan nurul je hahaha anyway while talkin 2 kamie, she told me that dis year's year 1s are kinda burnt out coz of the so many events they hav 2 organize...totally la...i agree lor ahakz perhaps coz dis year's exco is being very ambitious to organize many many events and in the process, put a strain on the year 1s who r the ones bz organizing. somehow dis reminded me abt wad hakim told me the other day. the thing abt excos is that for them to be effective, thr muz be an understanding between the past, present and future committees. activities planned shd be an extension of the previous batch, and not adopting a 'we better do better den wad dey did last year' mentality. i keep criticizing eh =p but well...its gonna be the same 20 years down the road hehehe

i had a nice long talk wif nurul too on the way home. kamal was 'understanding giler babi' to lemme spend quality 'gd fren' time wif nurul hahaha i learnt a new concept today - 'in-breeding' haha which means to say individuals in a small grp of frens start to get attached to each other =p of coz a gd thing abt dis would be every1 will be comfortable wif everyone since everyone is gd frens wif each other (am i making sense? haha) budden from a 'realist point of view', i suppose if there happens a break-up (choy!), the central focal point of the group would gradually dissolve and somehow or rather, factions will breed in the in-breeding grp heh

Moral of the story: talks are nice ahahaha helps 2 release stress, tok nonsense in the midst of something valuable and i suppose dat dis blogging thing is kinda helpful to actually note down the stuff i tok and tink =p u noe...like a pensieve in harry potter hahahhaa

i realised that i have not updated for like two weeks! hahhaa sorri to all who have been visiting my blog and are utterly disappointed with the boringness of my page hahahaha aku ni perasaan sikit yg org actualli nak baca my stuff =p bz bz la with assignments hehehe

i felt my talk with hakim earlier today was something blog worthy to post, even at this ungodly hour haha the last few days have been hectic coz we've been bz collecting 'stuff' from clementi for the MS booth and yesterday me, hafiz and hakim conceptualized the booth based on wadever resources we had. we came up with many many ideas to try and visualize how the booth would look like and how much attention we can attract. we settled on a grafitti wall wrapped with white vaguard sheets, a blue cloth wrapped sofa and a wooden blue 'table' hahaha

the thing was, during the conceptualization, hakim and hafizh had fantastic and ambitious ideas which i was very quick to downplay mainly becoz i felt that time and manpower constraints will be deterrent to our plans and thr wont be enuff time for damage control. i conveyed my sentiments to hakim during lunch and he generally agreed with me onli dat he feel we should aim higher despite our resources coz even if we fail, we wont fail so much. i oso mentioned that if there was one thing from cs3 that i took away wif me was that unless u r familiar with the working styles and attitudes of ur committee members, ur expectations shd not be too high as there will be a clash of goals and ideals. hakim said that this is true and given organizational structures, eventho u have high expectations but ure at a low level capacity, chances are u get sidelined to conform with the top level wants or needs. this would leave you frustrated la...at the end of the day, it is ur mental capability to attain self-happiness or self-fulfilment dat u have done the best to ur ability.

aim high, do ur best, be positive and disregard the disjuncture of personal and organizational goals so as to gain happiness or fulfilment from a project =)