i attended reading circles juz now and it was really worth the trip to school hehe. biasela every1 asked me wad happened 2 my arm,...and i said 'takde pape, tercabut je' hhahah anyway, the guest speakers from muis were ustz al-bakri and ustaz murad who were excellent in elaborating and offering new perspectives on muslim minorities. well the discussion opened with a wave of political inquisitions on muslim countries like iraq n iran as minority countries being taken advantaged of by the so called majority.

a brief summary of wad they said: Muslim minorities are not static. it entails an evolving identity to keep up with the changing times. the attitudes of minorities have to reflect what they believe and not contribute to misperception. for example, dr al-bakri mentioned wen he visited muslim countries, leaders were late for meetings or dressed sloppily...this attribute to the attitude shown and hence cause us 2 formulate and judge based on attitude hence the need 2 inject positivism to exude confidence. This two entail image. Image is of great importance...u portray an image wad u wan others 2 see u as so that they will react accordingly, otherwise u can be prone 2 misperception and negative vibes. ustaz murad also added that as muslim minorities, we have 2 look inwards ie look at ourselves. dont be so outward looking that u point fingers and blame others. we ourselves have 2 reflect and change. Minority groups have 2 create circles of influence to disseminate ideas dat will prove beneficial to one and all...

my second straight day out! woohoo...itz juz so fun 2 be out rather than rotting at home nursing an injured shoulder hahaha yesterday was nice 2 haf lunch wif jannah near her wokplace (imagine a small guy in a sling among the hustling of office workers in the lunch-hour crowd at raffles place hahaha) well she was sweet 2 cut my corned beef sandwich at fig&olive (nice place 2 eat =p) into smaller pieces so dat i can eat hehehe well i guess i cldnt hav any other thing besides sandwiches dat i could eat wif 1 hand and yea she diden feed me heeee i big boy =p

den 2dae, went out wif muk n zahzah 4 lunch and did sum shopping....and i bought a watch ahakz which my mum re-imbursed coz its a belated bdae gift. AND YEAH muk n zahzah CHOSE the watch *they specifically requested special mention...sheesh =p*

my salesperson was dis chinese lady who spoke good malay heh later found out dat she was a malaysian hee wad happened was when she helped 2 adjust my watch, i told her xie xie (thx in mandarin) and she was shocked dat i could speak 3 languages hahaha anyway her boss was nearby and started speakin 2 me in mandarin. he told me dat i looked like a true blue chinese and i should speak chinese as often as possible because it will really put me in gd stead...a malay who looks like a chi and knows the language is a great thing according to him heh he also said that it reali doesnt matter that my telo is malay-ish...my chi looks is enuff 2 fool pple haha wads more i can understand n speak the language =p

well it kinda set me thinking dat looking like one is realli not a bad thing...there may be instances whr i cld be in a beneficial position, who noes? syukur... =) of coz u get those remarks like:
'u malay ar?? no laaa dun bluff'
'are u at the wrong camp?' hehehehe

but lets put it dis way...i've grown out of my sensitivities and i realli feel dat how i look is a great ice breaker hehe every1 will ask....u malay or chi? den i'll say both oso can =p

ok im writing with my left hand hhahaaha since my operation, i hav done nuthin but eat, sleep, watch tv..literally! and im bored 2 death! yeah so much so that i keep watchin the same programmes over and over (urghh) Have u ever watched If Only?

If Only u had more time, what would u do to make things better?
If Only u had a 2nd chance, how will u change for the present?

the story revolves ard an english couple who love each other, yet the guy doesnt know how 2 show he's appreciative of her...reminds me of me. Some quotes taken from jennifer love hewitt:

'I noe u love me, but i juz feel im not highest 2nd priority to u'
'Everything else seem to matter more to u than i do'
'What is so troubling is dat im becoming too comfortable wif u treating me dis way..and it hurts'

If ure reading dis jannah, im realli sorri dat it took a movie 2 make me realize how im treating u...but i feel it is a true reflection of our r/ship, esp those 3 quotes dat hit me the hardest...

Well i noe im not supposed to blog abt wad is deemed as 'sensitive' stuff and all the talk abt OB markers...but i'll still do it anyway....juz living up 2 wad i had learnt all semester - deviance! haha

You know, it bothers me abt the fact that the James Gomez furore seem to illustrate one simple, often overlooked thing. Of coz the govt emphasizes transparency, honesty, integrity, accountability and the likes of it...but i feel it boils down to the fact that efficiency and perfection converge to carve out an unforgiving society. Don't u think so? i feel that mulling over and focusing on the mistake (honest or not is beyond my comprehension) accounts for how much tolerance or leeway the government sheds.

Lemme juz reflect on some experiences in NS life that attribute to this unforgiving nature of society. The civil service thrives on excellence and especially competitive during audit checks to be the best. This may be a biased view but its juz my own experience. We had a Police Technological Department Audit where the PTD team goes ard every division ensuring that IT security is of high standards. Well one of the criteria was to test officers security about their computer passwords. I was the UNLUCKY ONE dat dey chose to call and i made an HONEST mistake in revealing my password to the auditors coz i was super bz at dat exact moment dey called and i was like doin 3 things at one time. So of coz when the results came out, our head S&T who oversaw the entire process was enraged that i blatantly gave my password away. I was hauled into his office to give him an explaination to my error and he criticized me for my lack of judgement and blamed 'points lost in the audit' on me and oso threatened me wif a warning letter which diden materialize *phew* but my point is, this audit exercise shows how security can actually take 2nd seat while 'how well u do in audit' matters a great deal more and how small errors are aggravated and how unforgiving bosses can be coz dey feel it hurt their pride dat the audit results diden do well haiz...

i actually hav more examples but i guess dis post is too long....ahahahaa