Tuesday, November 28, 2006
10:31 AM
Random thots...on the overhead bridge
It juz struck me when I was on the overhead bridge on my way to school today. It might be very random but I guess it does have a semblance of importance to it – being in a relationship. I tink if you might remember, I posted abt BGR sometime back where perhaps it has become embedded and internalized that we should marry our bf/gf ie. the next step after getting attached is marriage.
I would also agree and follow this path set out and insya Allah will be in the institution of marriage one day…as so, energetically put forth and supported by our dear ustaz Ridwan hahahaha (juz a sidetrack…my sis’s main ambition in life is to get married! Hahaha I tink I shd introduce her to wan…and they can have a long discussion on dat la nez year when she comes to NUS =p)
When we blajar agama and they keep telling us that being in a relationship is haram in the eyes of Islam. I mean you have to wonder what it is that is so wrong about it. Of course one of the reasons cited is that it prevents you from committing sins, being intimate and such. But it struck me to be deeper than just committing sins. I may be wrong but I feel that the reason for being in relationships before marriage is haram is that you will appreciate your partner more so because she is your first and your last. She is your standard, your yardstick because…there is nothing to compare! Imagine, if you were in several relationships before, then subconsciously and of coz not meaning to, you will tend to compare the good and bad of your current partner with that of your previous ones. It may not be blatant but this comparison serves to show that ur partner’s imperfections or weaknesses have been fulfilled by others in the past and subconsciously u begin to expect. I tink it might cause resentment and perhaps, if not suppressed and addressed properly, can lead to displeasure and unhappiness of your relationship.
I think my opinion might be lopsided, but I somehow feel that it does make sense why Islam discourages from having relationships before marriage. It serves as an pre-emptive action that protects you from comparing your partner and previous ones, simply because there will be nothing to compare. Probably the only thing u’d ever compare is between yours and friend’s spouses. A cross sectional analysis, not a longitudinal one hahahahhaa
Love is when you accept her imperfections as perfect.
Im just following kamie’s one-liners =p
.sincera fazzy.
Friday, November 24, 2006
5:36 PM
Gender Summary Part 3 hahahaa
Ok...there are 3 explainations for patriarchy. But these 3 explainations cannot stand alone because they do not sufficiently account for patriarchy. Firstly, Investment in Offspring and Childcare. In raising offspring, a lot of time and effort is put in. This investment in raising the offspring and child care, there is an imbalance of investement between men and women. Women, with their mammary glands are biologically closer than men to have strong parent-child bond hence leading to maternal parenting. Men are less likely to invest so much due to their dilemma of cuckoldry. In sum, Investment in Offspring explain the differences between men and women in raising the children. Men are more flexible and variable and that women are dependent on men when they are lactating or pregnant, but more independent in the context of the workplace. The second explaination is the Sexual Exchange Theory. Sex for humans are not solely for reproduction but rather as a social bonding. Men are far more likely the initiators of sex and for them to gain access to women, they need to provide something in return for women. This comes in the form of extrinsic resources (material resources etc). Hence males have to fight with each other to gain sexual access to women by providing the best resources for the women. Women also need commitment and love in exchange for sexual gratification and surplus resources to be shared with the upbringing of the child. In patriarchy, women have the upper hand at first because sexual access is a restricted resource and men have to provide for them before accessing it. However, extrinsic resources are fungible and women will be at a disadvantaged because they need the intrinsic resources as well (love, commitment). The more patriachal the society, the more women are at a disadvantage. Lastly, socioeconomic status. This is described using 2 independent variables of mode of subsistence and investment in reproduction and 3 dependent variables - economic independence, distribution of valued goods and use of force/warfare. Joan Huber used this variables to analyse the level of patriarchy in societies.
When come together, the interplay of all 3 explainations can to an extent describe the patriarchal tendencies in Singapore. Investment in reproduction has declined for both males and females. Due to the career mindedness and quest for middle class status and adhere to the high standard of living, child care and housework has been outsourced to FDWs. Women are also not economically dependent on men as they have high education and careers. With regards to the sexual exchange theory, women at the top of the hierarchy have trouble finding spouses that meet their demands/needs while men at the bottom also find it difficult to find partners. this has resulted in the offshoring of foreign brides who conform to traditional female roles. These entail a renegotiation of male-female relationships coined as the patriarchal bargain. Lastly, the institutionalization of NS as a male dominated sphere in the aspect of warfare and the government as the sole distributor of valued goods, Singapore in general can be considered a patriarchal society of which is supported by the analysis of Jasmine Chan.
.sincera fazzy.
4:23 PM
Gender Summary Part 2
Having looked at advertising and division of labour, i'd add on by focusing on gender socialization, patriarchy and social class. First up, gender, as we know it is a complex process of social construction. This is backed up by Maccoby's Theory of Child Socialization. In other words, biology isnt everything...we create gender and LEARN to be different.
She identified 3 ways how children learn about gender. Firstly, direct socialization. It is the administering of rewards and punishments by parents. Rewards are given for appropriate gender behaviour or roles while punishments aim to tell the child that it is wrong to do something. In this way, the child learns wad is right or wrong as a boy or girl. Secondly, indirect socialization. Kids look and imitate adult/parent's behaviours and build a schema on what it means to be male/female and what do dey do to establish this identity. Lastly, and what is most important is peer to peer socialization. She explains that kids are exposed to gender ideology, gender appropriate behaviour and roles. They establish connections as they become more and more involved in institutional activities like school etc. At age 2, there is real no gender segregation. By age 4, girls tend to avoid boys because they are rough (boys initiate aggression) and by 10, they have realized what it means to be a boy or girl and hence greater gender segregation. Also, peers police each other's behaviour that cause pressures to conform to gender norms. For example, when a boy plays in a group of girls, the other boys will tease him and dis causes him to feel unwanted. hence, he would refrain from playing with girls and join the boys for fear of social rejection.
Another argument is the Underlying Biology Thesis - we are just BORN different. This thesis explains that biology and not social constructions that cause sex differences. One theory is the testosterone theory which states that gender differences are due to the greater amount of testosterone present in males that makes them bigger, stronger and more competitive. However, testosterones are environmentally developed and has no connection to explaining gender differences. Another theory is the evolutionary theory. The basis of this theory involves the notion of sexual dimorphism in that men and women evolved from being hunters and gatherers respectively. The cultural categories and evolutionary science is also reinforced by media portrayals and accepted as a norm. This then attributes to why men work to contribute to the family while the women work at home. However, its problematic to consider that hunter-gatherer mentality exclusively explains gender differences. Another theory is that of Male-to-male competition. Men are bigger and stronger not because they dominate women but rather, compete with each other to gain access to women. Sexual Selection suggests that women choose their partners whom they feel have the most traits to procreate with and can support her. Hence, men attain resources that will most appeal to the women and have to compete with each other to gain access. It can be said that socialization and biology cant stand alone. Both complement each other to explain gender differences by giving differing perspectives.
Sometimes, its amazing that we are obsessed with gender differences and there is a tendency to overlook overlaps that exist between males and females. In normative science, most of the time, averages are turned into absolutes to explain gender differences. For example, on average, men are stronger than women. It is turned into Men are stronger than women. Such absolutes perverts the truth but as it gets internalized, it translates into gender stereotyping, prejudices, ecological fallacies and institutional sexism. Although normative approach helps to generalize and not individualize gender differences, this tendency to turn averages into absolutes is demeaning. Another approach is analysis from the margins. This is by looking from a perspective of the minority or the deviant. It helps to uncover taken for granted situations, yet by individualizing, it becomes abusive to the norm.
Patriarchy occurs in a society which power is disproportionately held by men. This power is identified in terms of economic, social and political power. Patriachy is not universal but Patriachal Tendency is the norm in most societies. Societies range from egalitarian to patriarchal ones. There are some misconceptions about patriarchy. One, patriarchy is brought about by sex differences. Men are stronger, therefore rule over women. This sneak social construction is untrue. Secondly, capitalism brot about patriarchy because capitalism enforces the idea that men are the breadwinners and it encourages free reproductive labour for the females. However, this is fallacious coz patriarchy existed way before the advent of capitalism. Lastly, the radical feminist view that men are just nasty, violent and hate women. This is echoed by Jeff Hearn BUT this does not explain why patriarchy exists.
.sincera fazzy.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
10:38 PM
Gender - A summary
Ok pple....u dun have to read thru! im warning 1st hahaha dis post is juz a review of what i tried to learn today. So dun bother reading! u'll get bored, believe me! hahaha (its juz for my own reference...nak save foolscap paper katekan hahaa)
Gender is a social construct that entails achieved characteristics. it is a social construction invented by society as a means of categorization. According to S. Franklin, gender is defined by who we are and what we do or what society tells us to do. Put it simply, gender is a belief and a practice. This complex social process is structurally sustained through the collection of meanings and the building of a schema of what it means to be a male/female and what do they do.
We study gender because it enables us to look at and understand society through gendered lenses. With the pervasiveness of gender in society, it serves to explain gender influencing all aspects of our lives including the institutions that we live in - family (gender roles), media (gender portrayals), school (gendered education tracks) and work (income gaps between genders). We also learn that institutions are gendered such that there exist stereotypes that are already inherent. These stereotypes stem from the gender beliefs and identities dictated by society and in turn, causes individual prejudices, institutional sexism and gender stratification which very much affect life chances of individuals. These beliefs also reaffirm gender limits and induce self-fulfiling prophecies about gender.
It can be seen that gender affects almost all aspects of our lives and impact society as such in creating gender typing. One aspect of life is advertising. Advertizing is a critical and essential tool in the advancement of capitalism as it encourages the consumer demand and mentality. Yet the laten function of advertising is that it also sells values, romance and sexuality. Happy ads sell and based on this notion, advertisers use this to their advantage. Women in advertisements are portrayed as submissive, 'decorations', playing secondary roles to men and also viewed as sex objects. These media portrayals are not actual reflections of society. However, as Dr Leslie mentioned in lecture...advertisements keep enforcing these ideals about women and becomes internalized within ourselves and this in turn will cause us to have prejudices about gender.
Gender pervades the workplace and it presupposes a gendered division of labour. This is the notion that labour is divided along gender lines - women work at home while the males work to support the family economically and financially. With females entering the job market, gender stereotype kicks in. Women in general, have lower wages than their male counterparts despite having the same qualifications and working experience. This income gap can be explained by Browne's Human Capital Theory and Joan Acker's contribution on the gendered organization. Arlie Hochschild coinage of the Second Shift describes the women's responsibility to the family that limits her career choice and advancement.
hahaha i think dats enough for now :p
.sincera fazzy.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
1:35 AM
Raya dah nak abis....I juz got back from esplanade...well stopped for hot chocolate before heading home hehehe juz some very short thots abt the play i watched. For one, i tink i prefer last's year's production. Although it was controversial and touched sensitive issues, it was well balanced with witty lines, funny moments and thumb's up acting. Dis year, they portrayed even more controversial characters that of course reflected problems within the Malay community. No doubt, i had no qualms abt the acting abilities of the cast, i felt dat the whole show was angsty and angry. Lots of anger was emphasized. Abstractness on the part of the band playing and lotsa movement in the background during the monologue was to me rather distracting. They wanted 2 portray confusion in the dissemination of information; it did serve its purpose i suppose but at the same time i could'nt really concentrate on the character at hand. im in no position to comment further, till i discuss it wif my frens who watched it hehehe but nonetheless kudos to the effort put in by the whole crew! and yes the make-up was great...given the short time span :)
OK on a lighter note...pics for u to erm enjoy? hahaha i had a total of 4 jalan rayas dis time round, not including the k2p jalan raya tomorrow. altho it was tiring, i still enjoyed myself thoroughly and managed to catch up with those that i have not met for so long...especially the kambingz...
Library geng...at kamie's fuyooooo house haha
seme da penat tapi act cute...genes jalan raya
Silat Jalan raya yang ribut abes....30 pple manz!
KamBingZ...
.sincera fazzy.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
12:07 AM
Jalan Raya
I know i have not been updating for such a long time hahaha konon bz =p anyway, its realli been hectic, with all the assignments and projects due during this period. and of coz i do have 2 thank my frens for keeping me sane hahahaha coz i tink without them, life in NUS will be miserable. i had like 2 jalan rayas last week...of which both was super duper fun :) the genes gang jalan raya onli had 5 of us and we oni went 2 4 houses...but so much laughter and smilez and juz hanging out at each other's hse was juz a realli good break from all the work. haha i know some pple said kite semangat la, or tk pernah dgr pple from same lecture go jalan raya together. But hey, isnt dat gd? the fact dat we're all comfortable with each other eventho we spent oni a semester knowing each other :) thx lin, hudee, liza and aidil for making it a wonderful outing! and fuhhh the number of pics we took....hahahahhaha padahal 5 org jer =p
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And also not forgetting the Library gang jalan raya! woohoo! it was like one of the very few times dis semester that all of us realli got together. muz realli thank maly for making it possible :) and i tink it serves as a reminder dat eventho we're bz with PBM or MS or Silat or dat circumstances change with everyone getting attached to each other (not dat its a bad thing hehehe...jgn terase :p) and being happily missing hehehe..
ok i shalll upload the pics sum other time hehe
.sincera fazzy.
