Tuesday, November 28, 2006
10:31 AM
Random thots...on the overhead bridge
It juz struck me when I was on the overhead bridge on my way to school today. It might be very random but I guess it does have a semblance of importance to it – being in a relationship. I tink if you might remember, I posted abt BGR sometime back where perhaps it has become embedded and internalized that we should marry our bf/gf ie. the next step after getting attached is marriage.
I would also agree and follow this path set out and insya Allah will be in the institution of marriage one day…as so, energetically put forth and supported by our dear ustaz Ridwan hahahaha (juz a sidetrack…my sis’s main ambition in life is to get married! Hahaha I tink I shd introduce her to wan…and they can have a long discussion on dat la nez year when she comes to NUS =p)
When we blajar agama and they keep telling us that being in a relationship is haram in the eyes of Islam. I mean you have to wonder what it is that is so wrong about it. Of course one of the reasons cited is that it prevents you from committing sins, being intimate and such. But it struck me to be deeper than just committing sins. I may be wrong but I feel that the reason for being in relationships before marriage is haram is that you will appreciate your partner more so because she is your first and your last. She is your standard, your yardstick because…there is nothing to compare! Imagine, if you were in several relationships before, then subconsciously and of coz not meaning to, you will tend to compare the good and bad of your current partner with that of your previous ones. It may not be blatant but this comparison serves to show that ur partner’s imperfections or weaknesses have been fulfilled by others in the past and subconsciously u begin to expect. I tink it might cause resentment and perhaps, if not suppressed and addressed properly, can lead to displeasure and unhappiness of your relationship.
I think my opinion might be lopsided, but I somehow feel that it does make sense why Islam discourages from having relationships before marriage. It serves as an pre-emptive action that protects you from comparing your partner and previous ones, simply because there will be nothing to compare. Probably the only thing u’d ever compare is between yours and friend’s spouses. A cross sectional analysis, not a longitudinal one hahahahhaa
Love is when you accept her imperfections as perfect.
Im just following kamie’s one-liners =p
.sincera fazzy.